Greetings family and friends!

My eldest son, Dylan, recently started his own online business; putting together simple lifestyle programs for those in need of good coaching, but can’t afford the price of a personal trainer. I was one of his first clients… maybe second. But, after I’d completed an online survey, he was able to tailor fit a pretty extensive program for me, professionally done, even prefacing his intro with: ” Hello Mr. Kelly..”

I was a bit taken back by this, and then I realized that I am not often referred to as “Mr.”. I would like to think it’s because of my radiant youthful mien, however, I am afraid that might be wishful thinking. I am not the spring chicken I used to be and a year and a half of “sheltering-in-bloody-place” has brought out the grey in my hair and the aches in my joints. It’s time to get a move on and what better way than to patronize my own son in the process of doing so.

Being a little shy of the Gym and all the weirdness that goes with it, I have decided to start in my home. I am not a stranger to exercise, but I am definitely partial to the type that gets you some place; cycling, swimming, running come to mind, as well, more recently, rowing my inflatable dinghy like a boss, in the warm lake, pretending I am a daring ocean rower. Workouts that keep me stationary, such as weightlifting, I get bored of pretty quick, but, from what I have researched, it is the most effective way to trim down accumulated body fat and sculpt a little definition while you are at it. I have to take this program for a spin, right? Even being in my fifties; if I can get a 15% improvement in my overall well-being and appearance, I will have succeeded. And, besides, look what it’s done for my son! It’s turned him into a hulk. Have you seen those deltoids lately?

Before I get started, I need to tell you a little story about Dylan, which, he probably won’t like, but, oh well..

Dylan was always a bit of an underdog, and despite his self perception pointing otherwise, his struggle wasn’t that he didn’t have the heart of a champion; it was more a matter of size, strength and confidence. Or lack thereof. As a Hockey player, Dylan was awarded “most versatile“. He had no issue filling whatever gaps the coach required on any given game day and he was reliable. His father was part of the coaching squad, so I made sure he showed up for every game, early. Dylan could play net, defense, right or left wing and he knew the general fundamentals of each position, he just never excelled at them. He spent more time focusing on avoiding mistakes than he did finishing plays, so, his strategy was to give up the puck to a team mate at every given opportunity! ( He’s cringing now, I can feel it, but good stuff coming, Dylan, trust me). I suppose it’s not a bad strategy; it’s better than coughing the puck up to an opponent, which he did from time to time, although he would argue otherwise.

Apart from experimenting with many other recreational activities: Rugby, Tae Kwon Do, Air Cadets, skiing and dancing, Dylan’s primary sport became Soccer. He began young, playing for orange, then blue, then red, then light blue, then, perhaps orange again, but then there was a period of reprieve, before he picked it back up again at 14. He raised his own money and put himself through a rigorous battery of soccer academies, net minding clinics and excelsior training and became quite proficient at the sport. He wasn’t the best, or the worst, he fell somewhere in between; a little above average, I guess. Eventually Dylan played District and then higher level Pinnacles FC; competing with teams around the interior region. Where he lacked in “stand out” skill, he made up for in Grit. He wasn’t shy to run amuck on the field and stir things up from time to time, nor did he back away from assigning himself between the pipes as a goal keeper, a thankless position not for the faint of heart, and he solidified his role, once again, through sheer determination, guts and dependability. He was on the field early, every single opportunity he could get, and for this he earned entrance into the TWU University soccer program, playing 2nd and 3rd string back up net minder for the league dominant Spartans..

It doesn’t end there but, I just love this story. Stories about underdogs moving through the ranks through sheer determination, inspire the heck out of me. This boy is inspiring; although always the underdog, he manages to pull it off in the end and excel, despite himself. Dylan volunteered and became a Peer Councilor in High School, helping kids through tough times, was awarded warrant officer 2nd class on his last day as a Cadet, Goal keeper for the TWU Spartans on a Scholarship, won the David Kamp Scholarship at High School Graduation, became a member of the TWU competitive dance team, against many odds, and I don’t know how many awards in Martial Arts competitions, but a few. And now, he has somehow found a way to carve out an online business with a determined passion to sincerely want to help people improve their health, all at the age of 21! I don’t know what I was doing at that age, but it was most likely something I won’t share with my kids! This was the scrawny little guy who used to sit on the couch eating copious amounts Doritos and Jelly Beans.

This past year, Dylan managed to connect with a lovely young Volleyball player named, well, I’ll just call her “G” and the two of them seem glued to each other. They have both found common ground promoting physical fitness and going to the Gym as often as they can, and it’s time now for me to endorse this vigorously alive young couple and support them in any way I can. Which leads me to here…

Dylan tells me, in his program, that, according to my goals and time availability, I should start with two power-packed sessions per week, with lots of warm up, add some cardio and a decent cool down at the end. I took his program and converted it to free weights, and then limited it further to barbell, because, well, that’s all I currently own. A barbell and a few scattered weights, and so, I began on Monday November 8 at 0’dark thirty in the morning, I got up, warmed up on the rebounder a little; did some light sets on the Barbell and then went out for a run. I was energized for the remainder of the day, which was awesome, and then I crashed hard at around 10 that night and slept like a baby, until Morpheus, the cruel god of sleep startled me awake at my usual time of 4:30 am.

It is in my opinion that to have children and to raise them is probably one of the most difficult things anyone can do, and to make it a one sided, authoritarian, do as I say, not as I do, affair only makes it more difficult, for all parties involved. I figured that out… eventually. My parents were not authoritarian with me; they demanded I learn respect, that I say please and thank you and that I always help a neighbor out in times of need and most of the virtues I garnered through my childhood, I learned at the dinner table. There is a future blog for this, so I won’t go into detail, but, here’s my closing argument: Children who are seen and not heard when they are little, become anxiety ridden attention seekers when they are adults. They have a difficult time dealing with their own demons and therefore find it hard to be alone; I am not an expert in human behavior, but I am a father, which makes me a seasoned veteran in child rearing. I have made too many mistakes to remember and, as I have said before, have received reciprocal payback from my own kids, for every selfish and reckless deed I dished out to my own family while growing up. But, where I have excelled is in my ability to really listen to my kids, which, has been especially important while raising a non-verbal special needs child. I listen through eye-contact and body language.

So Dylan, I hear you. “Dad, get your shit together and get your frumpy ass off the couch and get to the Gym, will you?” Perhaps not in those words, but when your son cuts out a customized work out program for you and his Girlfriend is sweeping your floors during her stay as a guest in the summer, perhaps it is time I begin to look a little inward and examine the state of my own castle. I get the subtle hints; it’s the billboards that seem to evade my attention.

I now have a rotational chore schedule on my fridge, which I try to stick too that even includes dusting the baseboards and pulling out the stove to clean in behind it. I have a doable work out program, a workable eating schedule which, as Dylan says, does not resemble a sure-to-fail diet. I have time AND, I may even shadow his attempt at a dry Mo-Vember and grow a nasty-ass beard while abstaining, for the most part, from the wine and the bourbon.(except weekends, of course)

I’ve listened to myself for a lot of years now and, even though I’ve made good in a few areas; I have so much left to learn and now that I’ve come to terms with the fact that, father may not always know best; the way is paved to stop gabbing and start listening for a change. After all; kids know everything right? Time to put it to the test…

“Listen earnestly to anything your children want to tell you, no matter what. If you don’t listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won’t tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them, all of it has been big stuff.”

-Catherine M Wallace.